Obama Inspires Me to Change

I'm actually not an Obama groupie, but I admit that for the first time ever, I voted for a Democrat for President. I was so impressed that Obama took on the political machine and won on his own terms, without playing the standard game, playing dirty, or pandering. Defeating the power couple of Bill and Hillary, who represent a lot of what I despise about modern national politics, was brilliant. He actually motivated millions, gave us hope, and accomplished what many thought was impossible. His strategy and organization were stunning to behold. And so as I watched, I began to shake off some of my cynicism that I didn't realize I'd really accumulated. He made the seemingly impossible come to pass. He made history. And in so doing, he inspired me to think about what I would like to change in my life. What did I think was practically impossible, to the point I'd nearly given up on it? I once thought I would never get a chance to vote for a President I believed in vs. the lesser of evils. And yet...it came to pass....so what other beliefs should I examine as I try and shake off cynicism and turn to hope? What change on a personal level could I believe in?

While there are always things I can improve (certainly I could be neater, more organized, manage money better, train the dog better, be better at activities, be a better manager at work, etc.) there is only one area of my life that I feel I truly have not been able to make satisfactory progress and get where I would like to be - or at least in the ballpark. Over the years I have been able to achieve my educational and professional goals, to develop emotionally, build healthy relationships, have a healthy marriage...and I have a happy life. But, I've never really learned how to take care of myself. Self-comfort is a skill I didn't get growing up; I was focused on survival, and on pleasing others. I didn't learn how to think about what was best for me or my own desires seriously until I was 30. (I'm now 38). I've tried to work on taking care of myself before, with limited, and mostly temporary, success.

I'm overweight, out of shape, and I have a lifetime of bad habits that involve using food to celebrate, reward myself, comfort myself, and generally turn to even in times of boredom. I've never been big on fashion or looks, never expected to be considered good looking or popular, and always focused on my mind and intellect, not developing my body or physical skills. My parents were very sedentary, had terrible dietary habits, and discouraged or forbid me from almost every physical activity. Over the years, I have learned better diet and nutrition skills, and even gained some physical skills (I learned how to ride a bike at 30). I've tried not to let my weight determine my self-image or self-worth, to pursue activities I want to do, even if they would be a lot easier if I was in shape, and to not spend much time or energy on the issue of my health. Luckily, I am pretty healthy so far.

It's not just my weight. I'm not good at taking care of myself in other ways. I routinely forget to take a multi-vitamin, I don't always remember to brush my teeth, I hate to floss, I don't use the fluoride my dentist recommends, my skin care routine is lax at best, I don't remember to moisturize or always use sunscreen. I do enough to get by without destroying my health, but realistically, I'm not doing all that I can to live long, prevent cancer and other health issues likely to arise as I get older, and live life to the fullest. I try to remember to take better care of myself but old habits die hard, and when I get busy or there is someone or something else to take care of, I put myself last. I know it sounds bad, but the truth is, I just don't think about it; I don't pay attention.

Also, I have come to admit to myself that at heart, I am lazy. Though I have achieved a lot of things that are very hard and take determination, it's not the kind of success that only comes from daily discipline. Running a marathon or succeeding in calculus both take dedication in the form of practice. "Flash of genius" success that comes from a great idea or getting on a roll is fundamentally different from the kind of success that comes from plugging away, day after day, slowly building a skill set. I get bored. I don't like repetition. And, I don't like doing things I'm not good at. At least in my own mind, I am good at intellectual challenges and not at physical challenges. My parents always told me I was klutzy, discouraged me from trying anything physical other than basic household chores, and did not value fitness in any way. Not a huge surprise I grew up not valuing anything physical.

I have slowly built a skill set at work, but not by daily working on the same thing - just by constantly learning and doing and honing skills, which to me is a lot different from exercise, because I don't hate it. Exercise, especially cardio, I despise. They say find something you like to do. Unfortunately I have found nothing physical I like to do but ride horses, which is not feasible on a daily basis in my life. I have to try and be positive and find the upside to physical activity, but I know that is one of my greatest challenges. I'll try and capitalize on the fact that I know I'm competitive, I have some long term goals that I need to be more fit to achieve, and I have some short term goals that I can realize with some effort.

Why blog about it? I've tried keeping a journal before, and I find excuses not to do it. This way I am more or less publicly taking a journey, and maybe it will make me feel a little more accountable. Maybe someone with the same struggle can find some comfort in knowing they are not alone.

I'm kicking off on inauguration day, and using these days ahead of time to gear up, get in a positive mindset, and start working on getting into some of the "easier" health habits. I'm starting by clearing the house out of the chocolate and other temptations that can I can give in to, and developing some plans for healthy menus and exercise. I'll be trying to eat mostly vegetarian or vegan (for ethical and health reasons), with an eventual goal towards going 100% vegetarian and almost all vegan - I'm not sure that I can eliminate all cheese (but I'll try), and I have eggs from my own chickens that I don't feel bad about consuming since the chickens are happy and the egg laying is voluntary. I'll be trying to exercise 7 days a week, but I'll settle for 6 at a minimum, with 3 days of strength training and three days of cardio at a minimum.

I'm going to kick off by counting down the Top 10 Reasons to Change, one each day. The number 10 reason (not in order of importance) I've already discussed above: To Take Better Care of Myself. Each day for these 10 days leading up to "the big day" I'm going to try and focus on incorporating a small good health habit as well. Starting today, I'm going to take a multi-vitamin, and add taking it to my daily to-do list until I'm so in the habit of taking it I don't need to list it anymore.

I'm committed to this: every day that Obama is President, I'm going to take care of myself. I'm not going to ignore it. I'm going to make a personal change for good. If he can undertake everything he has, I can undertake this.